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Forward – Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday Writing Prompt Forward

Forward – Five Minute Friday’s writing prompt today is forward. ‘What is Five Minute Friday,’ you ask? Simply five minutes out of the week where you let one single word flow freely from you. You don’t pause it to clean it up, or go back and add polish, you just let it be exactly as it is released. For five full minutes. And these five minutes offer a special kind of freedom.

I invite you to join me, to join us, this whole community of writers who just let it spill from their heart and onto the screen regardless of how it may appear. Accepting it as it is.

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Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. – Isaiah 43:18

Setting my timer…

Forward

The death of a most loved one,

and myself as a child swimming frantically against a tidal wave,

crushing me like a lifeless doll – still afloat sheerly out of desperation,

to fight my way back to the moment before I last saw my Dad.

Back.

Back to before he left me.

<— <— <— <— <— <— <— <—

The broken relationship,

and myself the girl clawing against lies disguised as truth.

Unable to comprehend such cruel and destructive hate could exist.

An entire home, marriage, family, built on lies.

Flung to the floor shocked by the pain of betrayal, the ridiculous weight of it as it viscously shreds what’s left of my barely beating heart.

And all the while, my memories like a slideshow of before I knew better. A rose drawn in red pastel. A dream of eagles. A wedding gown. A veil ten years long – torn and taunting me.

Back when.

Back before the broken.

<— <— <— <— <— <— <— <—

Myself as a Mom whose son is, at last, here.

But surgery after surgery await like targets on my heart and calendar,

While he struggles to breathe, to eat, to stay with me, baby boy.

And fear like the thickest ice freezing me stone still as I worry – was it something I did?

Back I go, questioning my every minute of pregnancy. That glass of wine on New Year’s Eve, that strenuous hike up the whole mountain, before I knew he was on the way?

Back to condemn.

Back to where it hurts me most.

—> —> —> —> —> —> —> —>

But then one day, God.

And He says, let’s go forward.

Out of the darkness into the light,

Where you can recognize darkness when it threatens.

Clean from condemnation.

Loved.

My, beloved.

For real.

—> —> —> —> —> —> —> —>

Let’s go forward.

Away from those who lie and hurt you with their wicked games.

Forward to the husband I’ve chosen for you, who knows me too and shares your faith, which makes you both so strong.

Forward to real true love.

Forward to the time when your son is healed.

Whole and happy and adored.

Forward.

Together.

Forward.

Let me show you the way forward.

Him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light”

– 1 Peter 2:9

~Gwen

If you would like to share your Five Minute Friday Journaling – Normal Writing Prompt- you can link up at Five Minute Friday. If you are handwriting and want to share you are personally invited to share in the comments section below. I love to hear from you.

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Five Minute Friday is a weekly group writing experience. Click here to learn more!

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10 thoughts on “Forward – Five Minute Friday

  1. If I could just turn back the hands
    of that bloody ticking clock,
    maybe I would understand
    the pain, the grief, the abject shock
    that followed close upon the heels
    of what I did and said,
    and, deaf to all appeals,
    sneered, “You have made your bed,
    and lie upon it now, old son,
    for nothing here can save;
    the devil has this battle won,
    and bed is your soul’s grave.”
    But God would not let me retreat,
    and placed me back upon my feet.

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