How To Put A Healthy Focus On Your Relationship With Your Partner
Love is also a verb. Right? Can we all agree that love requires and deserves our attention? Healthy relationships don’t just happen. We need to lovingly pour our time, invest our energy, and commit to our relationship, joyfully. Love is, after all, a journey.
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Let’s Talk About Love
Healthy relationships develop the most beautiful fruits. Shared experiences. Life-changing moments captured together. Shared laughter and inside jokes…
The grounding knowledge that we have found someone who we truly adore, despite imperfections or quirks. The knowledge that we are at last seen and accepted as we are.
Love is a gift.
There are the butterflies. The desire. The heat. The passion. The raw beauty of it.
And also the sense of finally being whole. A drying up of the loneliness that we all feel on some level until at last, we meet our one.
A healthy relationship includes confidence that we have someone to lift us up when we inevitably fall down. To hold us in our darkness. To reach for knowing they are reaching back and vice versa.
Finding enduring love means finding someone who wants to help us heal, grow, and overcome our struggles. To become our best. To accomplish our goals. And being empowered to give all these gifts back is an honor we should cherish. Because love is a powerful thing. The most powerful thing.
So how do we care for our relationship with our partner? How do nurture and protect this gift? In my experience, the answers seem to lie in the little things. Let’s look at these relationship tips together.
12 Tips For Healthy Relationships
Look While You Listen
Look at your love when you are speaking to them. Set aside distractions. Eye contact is a powerful form of body language that assures your partner that you care about what they are saying and you are hearing them. Eye contact and communication belong together. Just like the two of you.
Please and Thank You!
Always say please and thank you. It’s easy to get so comfortable that you forget to practice common courtesy towards one another but this is crucial to a healthy relationship. Speaking these words often offers you a simple way to show kindness and respect to each other. Don’t save it for the big things. The little things matter more than we think.
Appreciation Is A Wonderful Thing
Saying please and thank you goes a long way. But it is even more meaningful when we elaborate on what we are pleased and thankful for. Take time to let your partner know what they are doing right. Share the many things they do, say, or are, that you appreciate. Think of specific acts of kindness, generosity, or compassion they have expressed towards you and mention them with gratitude.
Don’t save all your good manners for work or social gatherings. Being polite to your partner is an easy way to signal that you respect them.
Be a good listener. An empathetic listener. And try to listen with a genuine sense of curiosity about what your partner is expressing, not from an angle of indulgence. Let them finish what they are saying without interrupting. Also, instead of always offering solutions or opinions, ask more questions.
Finally, it’s too easy to think we know our partner so well that we know exactly what they are going to say about something. Don’t let that be a reason not to let them speak for themselves.
Encourage The Pursuit of Their Dreams
Be supportive of your partners dreams and goals. Believe in and encourage them. Our goal as a partner is to lift one another up, never to drag each other down. Assist in any way you can to further each others goals. Whether that be time, interest, providing a skillset, or just encouraging them verbally. Let them know that what matters to them, matters to you. You’re a team.
Forgive and Forget
Clearly, this one is often easier said then done. Don’t let that stop you from taking it to heart. When you forgive, let it go. Don’t drag previous arguments or shortcomings into your current challenges. And don’t go to bed mad. Ever. Work it out no matter how hard your ego fights you. This is a matter of the heart, and it craves forgiveness, reconciliation, and love.
You’re Always On My Mind
Let them know you are thinking about them. It only takes a moment to reach out. A quick text. A brief call. A card. A short message on a sticky note stuck to their steering wheel or written in the fog on the bathroom mirror or tucked into their jacket pocket… You get it. Say what you feel when you feel it.
Sunbeams and Silver Linings
Focus on and discuss what’s good. It’s too easy to get bogged down with what’s wrong. Often our struggles and disappointments rule our conversations. Be sure to take time together to discuss all that is going right. Seek out life’s silver linings together. Focus on the bright spots even on dark days. Especially on dark days.
Lighten Their Burdens
Be helpful to your partner. And they should be helpful to you. Look for ways you can lighten their everyday burdens and put the energy in. You are partners and helping each other out is a great way to lift each other up and let them know you care. Remember, as we mentioned earlier, love is often a verb.
Always prioritize mealtime as together time. This is a simple everyday habit that allows for quality time together. Set technology aside. Also, try to take the time to cook together whenever possible.
Make Time For Butterflies
Never stop dating. Never ever stop dating. Playing together and sharing experiences is one of the best parts of being in a relationship. Commit to the time and guard your date nights. Take turns planning dates. My husband and I do this and we are always trying to plan the perfect date for the other person. I try to keep his interests in mind when I plan my dates and he puts me first when planning his. If you are always putting each other first, no one feels unappreciated.
Hold hands. Hug. Kiss. And make your love life a priority. You will get busy and you will be tired, but don’t let even reasonable excuses rob you of your love life. Make time for it, you won’t regret it.
I have a few book recommendations on healthy relationships that you might want to check out of the library or grab from Amazon.
- The All Or Nothing Marriage by Eli Finkel
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman Ph.D. and Nan Silver
*Have you taken the Five Love Languages Test? This is an insightful little tool and it’s free.*
We hope these tips have encouraged you and shown you that it really isn’t so hard to build a healthy relationship. It truly is about the little things. For more on Love and Marriage, check out these posts:
- 13 Fun Date Night At Home Ideas For Couples In Love
- Secrets To A Happy Married Life
- Best Quotes and Sayings About Love for Valentine’s Day
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